Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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