So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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