I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
