'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So vagazzling was a success
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
