no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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