I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
