I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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