I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
