haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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