If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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