He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize