I swear she didn't look like that last week.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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