So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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