I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
