where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
