Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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