new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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