Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
