Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
