sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
