Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
