so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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