Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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