I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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