Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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