A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
