a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
