Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
