Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
