Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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