we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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