What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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