Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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