Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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