I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
