Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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