i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
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