Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
