Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
