My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
