Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
