he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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