you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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