My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
