So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize