I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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