The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
