Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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