shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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