I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Randomize
