yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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