I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
