I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
