yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
