At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
ugly people sure do ruin things
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
