Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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