If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
