Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
ugly people sure do ruin things
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize