At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
