I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
