well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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