Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
