Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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