my mouth tastes like poor choices
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
My Sexting was not on an AP level
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
