Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
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