Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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