we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Just puked most of my soul out..
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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