There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
