The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
