its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
