turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
