Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
