i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
