ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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