They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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